Disappointment

I've been stood up by the Pope.

Well, not by the man himself, maybe, but by the infinite levels of bureaucracy surrounding him. I was successfully added to the list of 'Pope-goers,' with the condition that at some point I would have to provide a copy of my passport. Last weekend I stop by the church to say hello to Father Alphonse, and he tells me that my name has been taken off the list because I didn't provide the copy of my I.D. 'on time' -- whatever that was. (I wasn't given a deadline; just assumed that the day of the trip, at the latest, would be o.k.)

I'm terribly disappointed. Although not a devout Catholic, I had looked forward to this once-in-a-lifetime experience of seeing a major world figure up close and personal. I really wanted this. And now all these little voices in my head, who are forever analyzing and interpreting, are busy making commentary on this turn of events. The stoic in me says 'oh well, forget it, easy come, easy go.' The groupie fame-seeker in me is throwing a mini-tantrum in my head, because it won't be able to boast of having seen the Pope. The old-testament religious side says 'this happened for a reason -- some higher power knew that you are no true follower of the faith and cynical as hell, and therefore took you off the list.' The conspiracy theorist in me is muttering 'This priest doesn't like you and/or doesn't believe that you are worthy to see the Pope...maybe it's because you told him you can't make it to Sunday mass because that's your hiking day...and HE is the one who 'accidentally' neglected to mention a deadline for submitting I.D.s.' And then there's the questing, searching part of me who really wanted to hear from a major spiritual leader. This part is curled up in a corner, whimpering over the lost opportunity for enlightenment and guidance. Heck, I'm sure we could all use some. I guess I'll just have to find mine elsewhere.